tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162353858375706492024-03-12T20:47:46.711-04:00Mommy ImperfectionKellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-31730714387277199802012-01-16T17:40:00.000-05:002012-01-16T17:40:21.793-05:00What I wanted to sayThe monkey and I were having a rough day they other day. The day was busy and filled with several errands and the Monkey was in super whine mode. Things were not going well...she got put in time out at CVS and at the doctors office and the reality is I am pretty sure I should have gotten a time out too as my patience had worn thing.<br />
<br />
After she went down for her nap I posted the following on Facebook as it pretty much sums up the morning we had had:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">I am not going to be winning any mommy awards today...after I snapped at the monkey for the 3rd or 4th time this morning because of her non-stop whining she started crying and said "I luv you Mommy"...sigh #mommyfail</span></blockquote>
I was trying to be honest about my struggles and share that with the many other moms I know. Most of the comments were encouraging and supportive. But there was one comment that just rubbed me the wrong way and left a lot of thoughts rolling around in my mind.<br />
<br />
This post was from someone who should know me well, but doesn't. Someone with whom I have a tense relationship. Someone who I feel judges my words and actions without seeking to understand my heart. Someone with whom I would rather not be friends with on Facebook but who I feel like I can't unfriend because they are, after all...family.<br />
<br />
They replied to my comment with this:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: #edeff4; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: left;">Award? Motherhood is a blessing not to be measured in pass or fail. At least the monkey and Mommy are sharing their feelings, never a bad thing</span></blockquote>
Hmmm....I wasn't feeling it. Like I said, it rubbed me the wrong way. As I thought about it there were so many things I wanted to say in response. I wanted to say<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Of course motherhood is about awards, if it were none of us would do it. I was simply trying to express my mistake.</li>
<li>Of course motherhood is a blessing...I wasn't actually complaining about being a mom.</li>
<li>Yes, it is good for us to both express our feelings. But just like I don't allow her to whine and scream when she expresses hers I should not be allowed to snap at her angrily. There are better ways for us to both communicate our feelings.</li>
<li>The point is that is not the kind of mom I want to be. I don't want to be impatient and short tempered with my daughter. I was trying to express that for people who will be there and to know I am not alone in failing to be the type of mom I want to be. </li>
<li>It is possible to fail as a mom and the reality is we all do at times. </li>
</ul>
<div>
So much I wanted to say in response. But I didn't say any of it...mainly because I have had experience trying to rationalize with this person before. It never gets any where and I am left feeling frustrated with and judged by someone with whom I wish I could have a deeper and more honest relationship. But I also didn't say any of it because what if the real truth is I don't really seek to understand their heart the way I should either?</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-60261609875939091512012-01-13T08:00:00.000-05:002012-01-13T08:00:12.227-05:00Favorite Things FridayI had a baby shower to go to last weekend and volunteered to bake something. I wasn't sure what I wanted to make. I had grand ideas of trying a new recipe and making some fancy scones. But then I remembered...I have a two year old, a newborn, and I started back to work last week....I don't have time for fancy right now. Luckily, strawberries were on sale last week which reminded me of one of my favorite bread recipes.<br />
<br />
We love this bread, a loaf barely lasts two days here. Plus it is relatively easy to make. I found the recipe on a blog several years ago, and have absolutely no idea what that blog was any more :( The original recipe called for almond extract and topping with sliced almonds, but I didn't care for that. So, I switched to vanilla extract and sprinkle to top with sugar during the last 20 minutes of baking. It gives it a great strawberries and cream flavor.<br />
<br />
<br />
<u><span style="font-family: inherit;">Strawberry Bread<o:p></o:p></span></u><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Makes 1 regular sized loaf or 3 mini loaves</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
Ingredients: </span><br />
<ul type="disc">
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2 cups all purpose flour</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1 teaspoon baking powder</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1 teaspoon baking soda</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1/2 teaspoon salt</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted
butter, or margarine, cut into pieces, at room temperature</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1 cup granulated sugar</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">½-1 teaspoon vanilla
(depending on preference.) </span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">2 eggs</span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">1 cup crushed strawberries or
1 package (10 ounces) frozen strawberries, thawed and drained on a double
thickness of paper towels</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Spray or grease a 9 x 5 inch loaf pan or
a mini loaf pan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and
salt. Set aside. In a large bowl, using an electric mixer, cream the butter,
sugar and almond extract until light, about 2 minutes. Beat in the eggs one at
a time, beating well after each addition. Mix in the flour mixture alternately
with the crushed strawberries.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Spoon the batter into the prepared pan. Bake in the center of the oven for
55 to 60 minutes (50 to 55 minutes for mini loaves), or until a cake tester or
toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Cool the bread in the pan for 5 minutes, then invert onto a wire rack and
turn right side up to cool completely.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">*If you prefer substitute almond extract for the vanilla and top with 1/3C
sliced almonds before baking. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
In an effort to make this a little more fancy (because I am after all a neurotic perfectionist) I also made a batch of this <a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/318755/strawberry-butter" target="_blank">strawberry butter</a>...it was fantastic!<br />Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-27718562485069962542012-01-12T20:27:00.000-05:002012-01-12T20:27:23.735-05:00Blog FailSo I started this blog last year excited about sharing my thoughts on motherhood. I was excited to share my journey with you and have you all share your journey with me. But unfortunately, I failed majorly in this endeavor. In my defense, I have a pretty good excuse.<br />
<br />
You see, I was working on another major project:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPlLdFgTVZSH5Ww60606lDTQWzd-82k4F6HN8mu0WtKU1MkEQJ4S1JC1TZdp2oA_mZWKfSByvMIHSNwN_e18Xd9r9C0z2Q6-NFeXcCj5M0trcBXVHCGsKkWqKouMxXBD6rygJySW-cu90/s1600/DSC02062.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPlLdFgTVZSH5Ww60606lDTQWzd-82k4F6HN8mu0WtKU1MkEQJ4S1JC1TZdp2oA_mZWKfSByvMIHSNwN_e18Xd9r9C0z2Q6-NFeXcCj5M0trcBXVHCGsKkWqKouMxXBD6rygJySW-cu90/s320/DSC02062.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
That's right, we added a new member to our family this year. Our little man was born on November 7th. We couldn't be happier to have him in our family.<br />
<br />
The problem was I had another difficult pregnancy. Severe morning sickness for the entire pregnancy, lots of back pain, etc. Basically, I HATE being pregnant. And this time it was harder since I had a toddler to take care of. So, some things, like this blog had to go.<br />
<br />
But the little man is two months old now and I am ready to get back in the saddle and try this thing again. Because, after all, that a part of motherhood too...starting over when you have failed.<br />
<br />
I have several thoughts that have been ruminating but for now I will leave you with a couple of pictures of our new family.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy15Qju5bAZb9WcWeJngepUVNGknIUDSQ7e16zqOehfjxmiz7eVB6w7UePGq7CDCeUQ3WxnHGLxOUMHAP1WxknxeBUlrOBci8bszULoYQwT4nfMzxpoQMTxpy9uxedS-8RTZMiN-PMgaw/s1600/DSC02088.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiy15Qju5bAZb9WcWeJngepUVNGknIUDSQ7e16zqOehfjxmiz7eVB6w7UePGq7CDCeUQ3WxnHGLxOUMHAP1WxknxeBUlrOBci8bszULoYQwT4nfMzxpoQMTxpy9uxedS-8RTZMiN-PMgaw/s320/DSC02088.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The Monkey loves her little brother! She can't get enough of him. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghc7egFMGSenfOO-n6f7pjQXMCWT-__Zb-EIQ3ZiNTSDY2DSkAak47lNl5S5aj5KSPnPG4VUPVxG7qPQ8Vp5wBncGhf3j8naCyim_rw_O5NS9tjWgAx4OBgu70usvghWP6aYvtttqJnaA/s1600/DSC02090.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghc7egFMGSenfOO-n6f7pjQXMCWT-__Zb-EIQ3ZiNTSDY2DSkAak47lNl5S5aj5KSPnPG4VUPVxG7qPQ8Vp5wBncGhf3j8naCyim_rw_O5NS9tjWgAx4OBgu70usvghWP6aYvtttqJnaA/s320/DSC02090.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-FwP_uEZKp4OZ6Yb0gjvDoYG5Dko2gAIefVQVWKlXc8r97ZsRnDZwPK7JsohjtOd47C1jjLNI2puKE_nxarzabFEDHKh7iV8jdWVTt0KVENvlj_8qajBS9TcJTs8pFOobQEJpPzmYUdg/s1600/DSC02420.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-FwP_uEZKp4OZ6Yb0gjvDoYG5Dko2gAIefVQVWKlXc8r97ZsRnDZwPK7JsohjtOd47C1jjLNI2puKE_nxarzabFEDHKh7iV8jdWVTt0KVENvlj_8qajBS9TcJTs8pFOobQEJpPzmYUdg/s320/DSC02420.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-35366262830240442192011-03-23T08:00:00.000-04:002011-03-23T08:00:10.472-04:00Wordless Wednesday<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOGM9bWwxVyQDReCt9BRUhAi9_VBv3UzaB_SG-b532YqqShKzXqWDqfslItft4J-cYNeuNPfiM9SwUwRUE9hHGoCjBOzr0fb6vFRSwduEXFY-NekuruGJPMi15yjPeGSmrRT5HxxYzxH8/s1600/DSC01522.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOGM9bWwxVyQDReCt9BRUhAi9_VBv3UzaB_SG-b532YqqShKzXqWDqfslItft4J-cYNeuNPfiM9SwUwRUE9hHGoCjBOzr0fb6vFRSwduEXFY-NekuruGJPMi15yjPeGSmrRT5HxxYzxH8/s320/DSC01522.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi280H7VJQzvNT7UXOOkEdOTeYKsS6ufM-ujKXu0IFpkwoadb_8BK-51WBy2eYMy43MdCpi_xNWmV2NxrrbsQopL0Ir5eFljGleNJrRefGvRdYDKe8k5CygizXX_Ht_vq7dN86JtfpyoHE/s1600/DSC01523.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi280H7VJQzvNT7UXOOkEdOTeYKsS6ufM-ujKXu0IFpkwoadb_8BK-51WBy2eYMy43MdCpi_xNWmV2NxrrbsQopL0Ir5eFljGleNJrRefGvRdYDKe8k5CygizXX_Ht_vq7dN86JtfpyoHE/s320/DSC01523.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="240" /></a></div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-27248341662674815972011-03-20T21:31:00.001-04:002011-03-20T21:31:38.443-04:00MIAForgive me for the lack of posts recently. We have all been under the weather lately and I have barely been able to keep my head above water. I hope to be back to updating this week.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-76740695924811064602011-03-11T08:00:00.000-05:002011-03-11T08:00:12.236-05:00Favorite Things FridayOne of my favorite things over the last few years has become chai tea lattes. I got hooked on them when I was in grad school and the lovely barista at Starbucks recommended it to me when I was looking for a caffeine fix as I don't like coffee. It was love at first sip!<br />
<br />
However, our budget doesn't really allow for me to frequent Starbucks as their chai lattes run me 3-4 bucks a pop! Ouch! So, enter my favorite thing:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31arZZ0INdL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31arZZ0INdL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Tazo Chai Concentrate! You simply mix it with milk and enjoy! I love it because I can usually get a carton of this for about $4.50. This will last me about 5 days, so I get almost a week's worth of enjoyment for about what I would pay for one drink at Starbucks! Win! </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I am able to get this at both Meijer and Kroger, but you can also order it online if your local grocery store doesn't carry it. Enjoy!</div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-70660769453044583762011-03-07T08:00:00.001-05:002011-03-07T08:00:12.822-05:00Knowing what makes you a better mom.So, one of the things I have been thinking about recently is the importance of knowing what makes you a better mom. I often think about this when I am talking to my mom friends who are feeling worn out or like they aren't getting everything done that they want to. I often wonder how are you taking care of yourself? Are you doing what makes you a better mom?<br />
<br />
I think that we as mom's tend to struggle with this for two reasons. One is that we are often so focused on taking care of everyone else's needs that we forget about ourselves. Or maybe, in reality, it is that we just run out of time to take care of ourselves because we don't make ourselves a priority. I often have this conversation with people I work with. There is a lot of guilt associated with taking care of oneself because so many others need us. However, if we don't fill into our own lives how are we going to have anything left to give to those we love? We must take care of ourselves first so that we can, in turn, take care of them.<br />
<br />
Another reason I think that we are bad about this is that we buy into all the shoulds of motherhood. By that I mean there is always someone to tell us how we should do it. We should be at home, we should nurse our babies, we should feed our children only organic foods, we should... I find that we are especially susceptible to this in the church community. I am not sure why this is. But, the fact is, nowhere in the Bible does it say I have to be a stay at home mom to be a good mom. And the reality is what works well for me is not necessarily what works well for you.<br />
<br />
That being said, if we are going to take care of ourselves and if we are going do what works well for us as moms we have to know what makes us a better mom. We have to think about it and be intentional about implementing it. Some times it may be trial and error, but working on taking care of yourself is important.<br />
<br />
So, here are some of the things that I have realized make me a better mom:<br />
<br />
-Working part time. I love being at home with the monkey, but I also love my career. But, more importantly than that, I need something that is mine, and I need time away from the monkey so I can better appreciate the time I have with her when I am home.<br />
<br />
-Waking up a half hour before the baby. I used to sleep until the baby's cries woke me up. I tend to need more sleep than the average person and thought it was great that my schedule allowed me to sleep in. However, I soon realized that I was often cranky with the monkey first thing in the morning. However, if I wake up a half hour to an hour before her I can drink my first cup of tea, read my emails, and wake up a little bit...I am MUCH less cranky once she gets up.<br />
<br />
-Girls' Night Out! I think every mom should try to make this happen when they can. I love having a night off from mommy duty to just hang out with the girls. Of course I talk about the monkey quiet a bit but it is also nice to have a meal without worrying about the toddler throwing food on the floor.<br />
<br />
-Fostering my hobbies. I love to bake and cook, in fact, I find spending time in the kitchen to be therapeutic (at least I do when there isn't a toddler hanging on my legs begging to be picked up). So A and I try to make time every week for me to get some alone time in the kitchen. It doesn't happen every week, but making it a priority is important.<br />
<br />
So, those are a few things I know make me a better mom. What makes you a better mom?Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-27270402646364685092011-02-28T08:00:00.001-05:002011-02-28T08:00:06.329-05:00Joys of being the MommyWe have been having a rough weekend around our house. The monkey has had a terrible cold and like most of us when we are sick doesn't seem to know what she wants. As a mom it is hard because I so badly want to make her feel better but I don't really know what she wants either.<br />
<br />
Through the frustration of a sick, overtired, cranky baby I began thinking about the joys of being a mom. It is probably because I need something to pull me out of the grumpiness I found myself in, but I find that as moms we often spend a lot of time thinking about, talking about, and focusing on the frustrations. I don't want to be that kind of mom. I want to focus on the little things. The daily joys that come even in the most frustrating moments, because they are always there if we stop to look at them.<br />
<br />
So, here is my list of joys from the weekend:<br />
-the sound of my daughter's sweet baby laughter...it's magical!<br />
-the sweet baby kisses I get after a diaper change<br />
-the chance to rock and sing my baby to sleep (The monkey is not a great cuddler, so any moment I can get cuddling her is precious to me.)<br />
-watching my daughter play with her books first thing out of bed in the morning<br />
-Chai tea lattes and quiet moments before the baby gets up for the day<br />
-the amazing peace and quiet of nap time<br />
-a wonderful husband who tells me to go take a break and nap if I need to<br />
-the way the monkey snuggles her head into my shoulder when she is upset or tired<br />
-a cute new hat for the monkey made by a precious friend. I can't wait for her to wear it!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-52367949822350657022011-02-23T08:00:00.001-05:002011-02-23T08:00:06.172-05:00Wordless Wednesday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8AyleVb_z488i5BeXt8pofDVgSSjOUq2B0kMRSXyktsxDmKkI8HOwzSenvrc6FXG0fYuGhK-SIxI81h-vGfDcNwfbOERHnpsV9lh1Ft9T5UE8pBU5gjewAEdh7hcK-rztgo4p-JRNhs/s1600/DSC01504.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG8AyleVb_z488i5BeXt8pofDVgSSjOUq2B0kMRSXyktsxDmKkI8HOwzSenvrc6FXG0fYuGhK-SIxI81h-vGfDcNwfbOERHnpsV9lh1Ft9T5UE8pBU5gjewAEdh7hcK-rztgo4p-JRNhs/s320/DSC01504.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjrphxz9mwmbhEVrQGibpKRup7lu-wajUyTqFGQDSWXT85sDA6F5rCQn2up1IdERm2Uop1-KFJbhzDn9h6p2-VMON5b0Idz0R38iTSKLMOZjRjusNouccmu0kmlSXP10QyAAew3mLt87A/s1600/DSC01506.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjrphxz9mwmbhEVrQGibpKRup7lu-wajUyTqFGQDSWXT85sDA6F5rCQn2up1IdERm2Uop1-KFJbhzDn9h6p2-VMON5b0Idz0R38iTSKLMOZjRjusNouccmu0kmlSXP10QyAAew3mLt87A/s320/DSC01506.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-11502217817484285352011-02-21T08:00:00.000-05:002011-02-21T08:00:24.081-05:00The WhineWe have entered into a new phase with the monkey. The phase of the whine! Uggg....it is terrible. I have no patience for whining...it simply dives me batty!<br />
<br />
The monkey is smart, independent, and just a little stubborn (OK, a lot stubborn, she get's it from me :( ). The problem is, she isn't talking yet. So, this is a little girl knows what she wants, but can't communicate it. I can only imagine how frustrating it is for her. We have taught her some sign language, but only a few words, which are no longer sufficient. So, her default has become the whine and point.<br />
<br />
For me, the whining is something we need to put a stop to ASAP. I know that rewarding the whine by responding to it will only reinforce it. However, I am not sure how to stop it. I ignore it as much as I can. Sometimes that helps and sometimes that stops it, but not enough of the time. I ask her to use her words and sometimes she makes the right sounds and/or signs, but since she doesn't know enough that doesn't always help either.<br />
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So, here's my question how do you stop the whining at this stage? I am open to any suggestions!Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-87723699704027832032011-02-18T08:17:00.001-05:002011-02-18T08:17:00.289-05:00Favorite Things FridayThe Monkey's Favorite Things<br />
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I love it the that monkey likes to read. In fact, more often than not she will choose to have us read to her rather than play with her. I think it is fantastic and a trend I hope will continue as she grows. Right now one of her favorite things is <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Alphabooks-Baby-Einstein-Ser/dp/064184204X/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1297516794&sr=1-2">Baby Einstein Alphabook</a>s:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41S41WUXxFL._SL160_AA160_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41S41WUXxFL._SL160_AA160_.jpg" /></a></div>The monkey LOVES these books. I think she likes them because they are small and more baby sized than some of her other books. There is a book for each letter of the alphabet and each one has three words that start with that letter. Each word also has a corresponding picture. Small, short, and colorful, they are a big hit around here. If fact we read them multiple time in a given day. So much so that yesterday I was able to list out all the ones that are missing off the top of my head....Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-29401131906614224162011-02-14T08:00:00.001-05:002011-02-14T08:00:00.870-05:00The Big DebateSo, A and I are currently having the big debate...to have more kids or not. It is interesting how that question changed after we had the monkey.<br />
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Before we had kids I wanted to have four! I knew I wanted more than two and I didn't want to have an odd number, so four seemed like a good compromise. Plus, I come from a big family. While I only have two siblings, my mom has eight brothers and sisters and I have 24 cousins. We all grew up together and I love the big family feel.<br />
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A on the other hand only ever wanted two. His family is significantly smaller than mine and in reality my family overwhelms him every time we are home. He has no desire for a large family and since he only has one brother he was comfortable with two.<br />
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However, after my pregnancy with the monkey our thoughts on our family size have changed drastically. As I mentioned <a href="http://mommyimperfection.blogspot.com/search/label/Introduction">before</a>, I had a terrible pregnancy with the monkey. I had terrible morning sickness my entire pregnancy, or as I like to call it, all day sickness. I was nauseous 24/7 for 9 months. I also had terrible back pain that landed me in physical therapy, and to top it all off I ended my pregnancy with a terrible <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pruritic_urticarial_papules_and_plaques_of_pregnancy">PUPPS</a> rash! Luckily, there were never any problems with the monkey, but it was still hard on both A and I.<br />
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So, that leads us to our current debate. In some ways we have a lot of fear of having another terrible pregnancy (I know it could be totally different this time around). It was difficult to have a rough pregnancy when I didn't have a toddler running around. I can't imagine handling another one when the monkey still needs so much of my attention. Plus, in a lot of ways we are happy with our family of three. We feel content here and there are days when the monkey needs so much attention that I can't imagine having two little ones at once.<br />
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But, on the other hand, I am not sure that I want the monkey to be an only child. Not that it is a horrible thing, but I love having siblings. There were times we hated each other growing up but now my sister is my best friend. We lean on each other in ways you can only depend on a sibling and I want the monkey to have that. Plus, if it weren't for the rough pregnancy I don't think it would be a debate as we had both wanted more from the beginning.<br />
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So, where does that leave us? Still debating. Still praying. I am not sure if their is a right or wrong answer. But it is not a decision we take lightly and there are a lot of questions to consider. But we will continue to talk and more importantly pray, trusting that God will lead us in the right path for our family.<br />
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What influenced your decision on whether or not to have more kids?Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-60159249889980001692011-02-11T15:59:00.000-05:002011-02-11T15:59:29.555-05:00What I'm ReadingI love to read but have gotten a little out of the habit. Partially because let's face it, I have a toddler running around, it makes reading difficulty. But I think another reason is that I have gotten pulled into the ease and mindlessness of reading things on the internet. It just seems easier to pull up my blogs and read for a few minutes here and there when I have a free moment than it does to pick up a book and at the end of the day blogs require very little thought.<br />
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But I do love to read and really want to get more in the habit of reading after the monkey goes to bed at night. Plus, I actually have 3-4 books that I have started reading recently and haven't been able to finish, which makes me crazy!<br />
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Since I am going to try reading more I thought I would share my reading list with you in case any of you are trying to get more reading in as well.<br />
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Right now I am reading a book called <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Feast-Christmas-Joseph-Kelly/dp/0814633250/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_7">The Feast of Christmas</a> by Joseph Kelly. My husband, A, picked this up at the library after the holidays and said it was interesting. Since I love history and understanding the origins of things I asked him to keep it for me.<br />
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I have really enjoyed reading about how the Christmas holiday came to be celebrated throughout the world. This book looks at both religious and pagan influences on the holiday. I think it is so interesting!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/511fVTpxjnL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/511fVTpxjnL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">What are you reading right now?</div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-12938276361553217362011-02-09T08:00:00.001-05:002011-02-09T08:00:08.165-05:00DisciplineDiscipline: it sounds so simple when talking about it in theory but in actuality it is anything but simple. A and I want to be good disciplinarians so we can teach the monkey respect for others and healthy boundaries. Before the monkey was born we would talk about discipline and it seemed pretty straight forward: set good boundaries, evaluate the reason behind the rule before establishing it, and communicate constantly about it as parents. Simple.<br />
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In fact, up to this point it hasn't been that hard. Most of our discipline has had to do with things that were dangerous for the monkey or keeping her out of things we don't want her to ruin. She learned to listen to no early and is generally a good baby so it hasn't been a huge problem. However, now that she is older and we are trying to teach her more responsibility, things are getting a bit more challenging.<br />
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For one thing, the monkey has quiet a bit of a stubborn streak (sadly she got that from her mother). She knows what she wants and what she doesn't and sticks to it. For another thing the monkey isn't really talking yet. For me it makes it hard to know how much of what we are trying to teach her she actually understands.<br />
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This week we have had some major battles with her over picking up her toys. The monkey has never been great at picking up, she has no problem pulling out every single one of her toys in a given day, but picking up isn't her thing. We have been working at it with her along the way and over the last few months we have gotten a lot more consistent with it. Well, this week she decided she wanted nothing to do with it. So, we started time outs.<br />
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We put her in the chair in her room for a minute, ask her if she is ready to go pick up, when she says yes we take her back out to her toys and ask her to pick up again. Should be simple, put her in time out and then she will pick up. Not so much. We went through this cycle for a hour the first night. Time out, take her back to her toys to pick up, she refuses, we put her back in time out. The poor baby wore herself out crying and I felt so bad. At many points I think we were both tempted to give in and just put her to bed, but in the end she did pick up her toys and I cuddled her as she fell asleep.<br />
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My take away? Discipline is hard. There are no easy answers and it likely looks different for every child. But consistency and follow through are important. The next night we had another round of the picking up the toys battle but it was much shorter, only about 15 minutes, and every night since she has picked up her toys without problem. I don't by any means think we are done with this particular battle, but it makes me feel better about not giving up.<br />
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The thing is, discipline is hard, and it is easy to want to give up. But I also know we are working to raise the monkey to be the woman that God has called her to be and consistent discipline is part of that process. I know it won't be easy, and I am sure we will make mistakes along the way. But I also know that the reward in the end will be worth the work we put into it.Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-49983619290607790442011-02-07T08:00:00.000-05:002011-02-07T08:00:01.316-05:00The measuring stick<div style="background-color: transparent; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span id="internal-source-marker_0.7692087313625962" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last night I was laying in bed and praying before I fell asleep when I realized that I was feeling discouraged about being a mom. Then I had to stop and ask myself “Why?”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We had a good day yesterday. I went to work for a few hours and then ran a couple errands. A took the monkey to school with him for a bit and then we all landed at home for lunch. After lunch A and the monkey both took naps while I watched a movie and worked on a couple projects. We skipped church (I know, we’re sinners ;) ) in order to have a relaxing evening at home after a long week and it was just that. The monkey was happy and didn’t throw any major fits. We played and cuddled and then put her to bed. All in all, a good day.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So what was the problem? Why was I feeling like I was failing as a mom? As I laid there on pondered this I realized the problem is there is no measuring stick for success as a mom. How do I know if I am doing it right? If I did all the best for her that I could that day? This is especially hard when I can think of a million things I could have done better at the end of any given day. I could have read to her more, I could have played with her more, I could have gotten her to eat more veggies...the list goes on. But, I can’t always think of a lot of things I did really well, I mean I can think of things I did OK, but really well? Not as much. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This lack of a measuring stick is hard for me as a perfectionist. I want to know what I am being measured against and how I can tell if I am succeeding. I want to know when I have done it right and when I am exceeding expectations. Basically, I want to know when I am being a good mom. I want to be able to point to that measuring stick and say “see, I’m doing it right.” When there is no measure of success it feels like failure.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So what does it mean to be successful as a mom? How do I measure it? I am not sure that there are answers to these questions, but I am pondering them for now. I am sure I will eventually come to the realization that I need to give up the measuring stick and be content with giving mothering my best every day. Unfortunately, I’m not there yet, but I am realizing the need and that is a start.</span></div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-22340717459379954842011-02-05T21:38:00.000-05:002011-02-05T21:38:41.750-05:00Scenes From A Snow Day<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Like everyone, we were hit with the snowstorm of 2011. Here in Indy we got a ton of ice which has led to a lot of snow days. A was off of school for 4 days this week. Due to the ice outside most of those 4 days were spent at home in our jammies. I mean when the house looks like this:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhDQU9FII_DKXj5xBbi_0PCJqvT0Tgt5-1xw6lfumLn5_OhAf_yHeu4LTGTaG5Nc9CbhsilFmuKzfo7y_z2LMiZWfb-nObZfDWq5Ds72v_QPohSBm4mJhK7ta6yZ6Eufr3n8TlXOZNblk/s1600/DSC01495.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhDQU9FII_DKXj5xBbi_0PCJqvT0Tgt5-1xw6lfumLn5_OhAf_yHeu4LTGTaG5Nc9CbhsilFmuKzfo7y_z2LMiZWfb-nObZfDWq5Ds72v_QPohSBm4mJhK7ta6yZ6Eufr3n8TlXOZNblk/s320/DSC01495.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> And the ice looks like this:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNxx5WOvIrgyC62MG_Qg5tDP35AJd08kbbimA2odQBORFq9RvxPxTl-ysXDW8YfrfNE8BsA3BEbqP9LDLNyIYo3MTrvjH5Hwzh5SuxtPZEa7O9-yH3dmhx7JqfKHi9yZr5b9gbFymRDzc/s1600/DSC01496.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNxx5WOvIrgyC62MG_Qg5tDP35AJd08kbbimA2odQBORFq9RvxPxTl-ysXDW8YfrfNE8BsA3BEbqP9LDLNyIYo3MTrvjH5Hwzh5SuxtPZEa7O9-yH3dmhx7JqfKHi9yZr5b9gbFymRDzc/s320/DSC01496.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"> And the entire side of our house is coated in ice:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq5kcLJYuaRL-jbC5DTciXpq7ZyrEraXSKTdfrmq9gSS7PEA4qo3zAo2NxMvy7Y_qdqB85xdFvKFp5gZnGIUik3KSH_h5-DV7GlrrUOko1PNDQtrT9oTTro8FageuJaiGMCwDTXicN1-A/s1600/DSC01500.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgq5kcLJYuaRL-jbC5DTciXpq7ZyrEraXSKTdfrmq9gSS7PEA4qo3zAo2NxMvy7Y_qdqB85xdFvKFp5gZnGIUik3KSH_h5-DV7GlrrUOko1PNDQtrT9oTTro8FageuJaiGMCwDTXicN1-A/s320/DSC01500.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">Who really wants to go outside? Not us, the monkey cried when we took her out in the snow the last time. So we stayed safe and warm playing inside. But I think someone is trying to tell us she is ready for summer...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFLuxxOw4Ne4SRX5hoAEwxWYXys5dygMc_wYcFIJbRQcN5um-j7Zy_065WN64Gm2pyzpFjuxM8DrQRBWyrADdpa7qr-CU3yQeXalzO9z02DB3D91CLk3kALRSgKMZC43vycYZ4XY4IsaA/s1600/DSC01489.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFLuxxOw4Ne4SRX5hoAEwxWYXys5dygMc_wYcFIJbRQcN5um-j7Zy_065WN64Gm2pyzpFjuxM8DrQRBWyrADdpa7qr-CU3yQeXalzO9z02DB3D91CLk3kALRSgKMZC43vycYZ4XY4IsaA/s320/DSC01489.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrChjbutBP0Oe9HRszKjflLTpObCFc7_Xu2ZM91Eei0Oe9LkSMSt5xH6M05UNpW83LrcezrbW-fxN4tG8TXx3G__90zP4_tXwZ3pUNCJHn6WPyyCaH4uq01VcnaGwVjXz5EvGyNngZdrA/s1600/DSC01490.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrChjbutBP0Oe9HRszKjflLTpObCFc7_Xu2ZM91Eei0Oe9LkSMSt5xH6M05UNpW83LrcezrbW-fxN4tG8TXx3G__90zP4_tXwZ3pUNCJHn6WPyyCaH4uq01VcnaGwVjXz5EvGyNngZdrA/s320/DSC01490.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">We did try to get a few things done at home while we were off...the monkey tried her hand at vacuuming:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8o367urOk0AaFoNrwLHvydrTvgMr9oGeGFYJOcmdL6OoCoj5E-b81zlOd1EsH5m_lFs5rwW0Wdc8tF1pTjEUe6iL3Hs-rsNnACxbi404XzkM7eem9Cs7i9oLA7C43Yv364J2iylX5zD4/s1600/DSC01486.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8o367urOk0AaFoNrwLHvydrTvgMr9oGeGFYJOcmdL6OoCoj5E-b81zlOd1EsH5m_lFs5rwW0Wdc8tF1pTjEUe6iL3Hs-rsNnACxbi404XzkM7eem9Cs7i9oLA7C43Yv364J2iylX5zD4/s320/DSC01486.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">She didn't get very far.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFC4qmGQmr1h3-i9ZZlZpWRWvXyzAN5nVaroQjg-GFxf2T5lld6sNAVVKFYCqLwveT50tsAhdxgRo3xc2sF9sBHwirTxuQuLbkiXOZdCrCtRbIQPi_udNN3sGXre0hvchz6ResYlVMoSU/s1600/DSC01488.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFC4qmGQmr1h3-i9ZZlZpWRWvXyzAN5nVaroQjg-GFxf2T5lld6sNAVVKFYCqLwveT50tsAhdxgRo3xc2sF9sBHwirTxuQuLbkiXOZdCrCtRbIQPi_udNN3sGXre0hvchz6ResYlVMoSU/s320/DSC01488.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">And just to keep it real for you all, this is what our living room looks like at the end of a day at home:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp9WU-8OSbVdxfheOGeuSdhkp0kjcKDyh48xkPdHLMcNq20SKxZvT1VTgLn-EvP-RAepuBbY4UCNGMa103JM5Rmp-O9VsTD2_f-XiI-ymhTroL6Q8oGfNSdcZ_9X75xNyaMi3qi7lnMVo/s1600/DSC01492.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp9WU-8OSbVdxfheOGeuSdhkp0kjcKDyh48xkPdHLMcNq20SKxZvT1VTgLn-EvP-RAepuBbY4UCNGMa103JM5Rmp-O9VsTD2_f-XiI-ymhTroL6Q8oGfNSdcZ_9X75xNyaMi3qi7lnMVo/s320/DSC01492.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq70H6hhbEbNr2k-kmj5_zNgo5LHEXqMQg1J6AjzvSF0KF5TNQg9_Xml6HjEtopkaqDHHOjLLZDxkoHjIfc3cXr7CFmy3Jnpzg3TBaI1hh4bc6bXAV0CCu-ZRszmurRQtOB-ir8p3bclU/s1600/DSC01493.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiq70H6hhbEbNr2k-kmj5_zNgo5LHEXqMQg1J6AjzvSF0KF5TNQg9_Xml6HjEtopkaqDHHOjLLZDxkoHjIfc3cXr7CFmy3Jnpzg3TBaI1hh4bc6bXAV0CCu-ZRszmurRQtOB-ir8p3bclU/s320/DSC01493.JPG" style="cursor: move;" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;">I hope that you all enjoyed the storm and were able to stay cozy and warm at home. Next week, it's back to reality.</div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-916235385837570649.post-41693350162965847952011-02-05T21:37:00.005-05:002011-02-06T08:23:35.236-05:00The Perfect Mom<div style="background-color: transparent; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span id="internal-source-marker_0.7692087313625962" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What does it mean to be the perfect mom? It’s an interesting question, one with a hundred different answers, but I am not sure that all of them are right. In fact, I am not sure any of them are right. Because, the truth is there is no such thing as being a perfect mom. But there sure is a lot of hype telling you that being the perfect mom is attainable. There are so many things you should do to be a perfect mom. You </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>have</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> to breastfeed for a least a year. You </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>have </b>to be a stay at home mom. You <b>have </b>get your babies on a perfect sleep schedule as soon as possible. You <b>have</b> to...</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before I became a mom I thought I would be the perfect mom. I have always wanted to be a mom after all, being a perfectionist and high achiever I had no doubt I would excel in this area of my life as well. Sure, it would be hard, but I like hard, I like the challenge. Yeah, that thought was quickly put to rest. In fact, I began to feel like a failure as a mom while I was still pregnant.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see, I had a terrible pregnancy. I was sick 24/7 for nine months. Not to mention many other complications that I won't go into now, but needless to say I was miserable. Because of this, I wasn't able to do all the things the perfect mommy should. I couldn't eat healthy, honestly I was just happy if I could keep anything down. Which for me was primarily frozen coke and carbs (yup, super healthy right?). I didn't exercise well, there was no prenatal yoga for me, in fact I spent most of my time not at work lying on the couch feeling miserable. I was already failing and I hadn't even started yet! How on earth was I going to make it as a mom?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The imperfection didn't stop when the monkey was born. Right away I had trouble nursing her and was about to give up after a week (luckily we both got the hang of it). Plus, she wasn't a great napper right from the start. She was a great night time sleeper, but not so great at the naps. In fact, I couldn't get her on a solid nap schedule until she was 5 months old and even then I forced it because I needed some consistency. My friend had gotten her daughter on a perfect nap schedule quickly, why couldn't I?</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">But, here is what I started to think about through my pregnancy and early days of motherhood. What if there is no such thing as a perfect mom? I mean perfectionism hasn't always worked great for me in everyday life why would it be a great thing for me as a mom? And what if what is right for someone else isn't right for me? And what if your baby has a different personality and needs than my baby does? And maybe it is OK if every piece of "expert advice" doesn't work for me, I mean they can't even agree with each other half the time. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">So what does that mean? Maybe that means that I need to stop striving for the unattainable goal. Maybe it means I need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and what everyone else is thinking and focus on what works best for me and my family. Maybe it means I take the advice of all of those well meaning people and ignore it. Maybe it means I focus on being the best mom I can be every day and find contentment in that.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not great at this, I still struggle with feeling like a failure. I still hate not having all the right answers or feeling like I have no idea what I am doing. But I am trying to let go of the need to be perfect and focus on loving my daughter well and doing the best I can for her. This is my journey into motherhood and my thoughts. Take them or leave them, and please feel free to share your own. </span></div>Kellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08189865872477398205noreply@blogger.com0