Monday, February 14, 2011

The Big Debate

So, A and I are currently having the big have more kids or not. It is interesting how that question changed after we had the monkey.

Before we had kids I wanted to have four! I knew I wanted more than two and I didn't want to have an odd number, so four seemed like a good compromise. Plus, I come from a big family. While I only have two siblings, my mom has eight brothers and sisters and I have 24 cousins. We all grew up together and I love the big family feel.

A on the other hand only ever wanted two. His family is significantly smaller than mine and in reality my family overwhelms him every time we are home. He has no desire for a large family and since he only has one brother he was comfortable with two.

However, after my pregnancy with the monkey our thoughts on our family size have changed drastically. As I mentioned before, I had a terrible pregnancy with the monkey. I had terrible morning sickness my entire pregnancy, or as I like to call it, all day sickness. I was nauseous 24/7 for 9 months. I also had terrible back pain that landed me in physical therapy, and to top it all off I ended my pregnancy with a terrible PUPPS rash! Luckily, there were never any problems with the monkey, but it was still hard on both A and I.

So, that leads us to our current debate. In some ways we have a lot of fear of having another terrible pregnancy (I know it could be totally different this time around). It was difficult to have a rough pregnancy when I didn't have a toddler running around. I can't imagine handling another one when the monkey still needs so much of my attention. Plus, in a lot of ways we are happy with our family of three. We feel content here and there are days when the monkey needs so much attention that I can't imagine having two little ones at once.

But, on the other hand, I am not sure that I want the monkey to be an only child. Not that it is a horrible thing, but I love having siblings. There were times we hated each other growing up but now my sister is my best friend. We lean on each other in ways you can only depend on a sibling and I want the monkey to have that. Plus, if it weren't for the rough pregnancy I don't think it would be a debate as we had both wanted more from the beginning.

So, where does that leave us? Still debating. Still praying. I am not sure if their is a right or wrong answer. But it is not a decision we take lightly and there are a lot of questions to consider. But we will continue to talk and more importantly pray, trusting that God will lead us in the right path for our family.

What influenced your decision on whether or not to have more kids?

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